Currently off the meds

Since being fortunate enough to have found my way back to my spirituality...and my meditations...I have weaned myself off of the medications that were prescribed by my physician...they always seem to make me feel disconnected from the world and myself...I know that many people who have bi-polar disease and depression seem to go back and forth between treatment and well, for lack of a better description...running from treatment...I always feel so much worse when taking the meds...

I have been on at least 12 different meds and always seem to get the worse case side effects from them..I am allergic to several of them and found this out by being prescribed them...and ending up in the hospital...

I know that meds work really well for some people and do not recommend stopping your meds without the approval of your physician...that is how I always do it and she tells me how to slowly wean my body's dependency on them so that it causes no ill effects...she is completely in favor of my current non-treatment....I feel that it is extremely important that I let ya'll know this...

It is going well for me over the past 4 months without pharmaceutical therapy and I am eternally grateful that I have been am to reach a happy-medium through my meditations. I get an "aura" when one of my bad cycles in coming and am learning how to utilize other means to remain positive and not allowing myself to become isolated and thereby falling into a deep depression.....

I hope and pray that this remains to be true...but if I need to go back to my physician...I know that she will be there for me...as always....it is truly a blessing to have a doctor who is not only my medical/mental caregiver but also, my friend!

Chiblue, I would be most grateful if you'd keep us well updated on this.

Being Biopolar myself, I am at the maximum doses allowed for my stabiliser and my anti depressant.

Just recently, now that I am walking with Bipolar rather than crawling with it, I've been having thoughts of coming off - or at least downing my dosage.

I'd love to know how it emotionally feels to be without my stabilser - to actually be in the full grip of an emotion - any emotion - would be heavenly I think at times.

Keep us updated hun, and of course, we're all here for you.

*HUGS* Y'all are quite awesome! Both of you.

Congrats to you, Chiblue! I am ALL FOR anyone being able to safely come off meds and find a way that really works that allows for the brain's chemistry to regulate itself without the aid of medication.

Dethas *HUGS* I do hope that you can find a way to at least lower the dosage and still function. I know that only time can really tell what will happen, but at any rate...I hope that you can regulate it!

What seems to be a problem (for me) is always thinking that if I'm feeling better then I can come off my med. 80% of the time, of course, I do and end up going right back downhill. It's always one of two things...feeling better = come off the meds....or feeling like holy hell = come off the meds.

I know what you mean, Dethas, about feeling disconnected from emotion. It's just the sad truth of the matter that a lot of the higher dosages will leave you feeling like that...and even more...the lower doses sometimes are worse to do it than the higher ones!

Wellbutrin and I did not EVER get on. From the moment that I started it, it was hell. Some meds I have been 'okay' with...disregarding side effects. But I hate Wellbutrin.

I'm starting Clozaril therapy likely in the next week or so. I wish to the gods that I could come off everything, but I know that I can't do that and be a functioning member of society. If there were a holistic method then I'd certainly give it a try...but I think I'm at the point to where I'm tired of struggling against the inevitable truth and just accept that I am going to have to be on meds for the rest of my life.

*HUGE HUGS* I commend you for your strength, Chiblue. It really does take a lot of guts and willpower to be able to forge ahead. You're doing an outstanding job...but it's okay to lean back sometimes and not be strong.

Yucky on the meds experiences! Sounds familiar. Ugh nothing worse than the guinea pig phase. *Sighs* Xanax were always something that I loved...but yeah. Ativan made me sick, too! I think that some meds are just inherently prone to give you the worst possible side effects.

I don't think that you've lost it for feeling those things concerning your Mom. *HUGS* In fact...in my opinion...I believe that we SHOULD feel those things. Notice how (especially if you're grieving), they always want to medicate you. Like you shouldn't be feeling those things to that extent. I think that we should allow ourselves to go through the spectrum of feelings that come with grief and a loss of that magnitude. Suppressing those things, to me, only creates MORE unneeded guilt and shadowed hurt.

I also think that you could well be sensing her presence. Certainly we may get fleeting glimpses or scents shortly after someone passes...but really, who's to say that it's not real? I believe that it's entirely possible (and likely) that our loved ones do return to tell us goodbye...or to at least let us know that they're alright and ever near.

The one piece of advice that I can give you is to allow yourself all the time that you need to grieve and to experience the change that her loss has brought to your life...and even if it takes ten years...so be it. Don't rush 'getting over it' and don't chalk things up to your illness. Sometimes it's just the best thing in the world to give ourselves permission to feel something. *HUGS*