Social Anxiety

When my SAD hits, I find I become extremely paranoid and afraid of people I don't know. Just going out in public to do some essential shopping takes me ages. It can take me 3 hours or more to get myself to walk out of the house. My bus stop is also across the road from a high school and if any of the students are there, I will turn around and come home again! If I go to the stop at 10.30 and students are there, I get upset. I feel its 'unfair' of them to be there at that time, like they are trying to take something away from me (yes, I know how bizarre that sounds).

It only bothers me when my SAD has kicked in, in the cooler parts of the year. Without medication, a 30 minute journey outside of home has me in tears. With medication, it has me laying down to recharge. It just takes so much out of me.

How do others deal with social anxieties/phobias?

Aww hun *hugs* and no it doesnt sound bizarre

I just go out once a week on a Sat into town with my husband. I can't go by myself. I feel detached from reality I call it brain fog. I'm fortunate to be able to do my grocery shopping online and get it delivered to the house.
Infact I do most of my shopping online, books etc

I take my doggie out a walk each day just to the bottom of our street, this leaves me mega sore and fatigued.

As my husband works full time Sat is my going out day and I really look foreward to it.

I'm actually going to attempt going on holiday this year with my husband and one of my daughters. I'm having to plan everything just right so I don't get too stressted for that puts me into flare up.

I went out socially with my husband on Christmas Eve and was so sore that every step home was agony.
I have'nt been out socially since. I'm going to attempt it again in a couple of weeks for my daughters birthday night out.

I try and stay positive

Love and Hugs
Aleia

justme wrote:

How do others deal with social anxieties/phobias?

Currently, by not going out.

But I also limit my time in shopping centres (the only time I really get much exposure to others) by keeping my shopping lists short. I find if I shop frequently, for short times, I get less stressed out than if I force myself to stay in a social setting for an hour or more. This works for me.

I am in a process of developing 'I need to go home now' tag words.

I also find that decent public shopping toilets are a good refuge. I hide out in there sometimes. It's not really super sanitary, but hey, I'd rather be alone with bacteria, than crowded by people. Sad but true.

If I'm being caught in a situation where I'm going to have a socialise (a Christmas dinner at my place), I don't eat - because of my IBS - and I'll frequently find a place where I can be alone.

My social phobia is 24/7, all times of the year. I'm lucky I don't have agoraphobia to tag along with that, because it would be truly incapacitating.

*HUGS* to all of y'all.

I sympathize. Mine is pretty much 24/7, too. Not to a paralyzing degree, but pretty damn tough.

It's funny because people always say of me online how outgoing and gregarious that I am. It couldn't be more the opposite in reality. I'm probably one of the most withdrawn and silent people you would ever meet.

I have 'reasons' for a lot of it. Paranoid thoughts can spur my distrust and then of course my speech impediment. I have always felt brow-beaten and just worthless so I really feel that I'm being judged by everyone. I feel that people think that I am stupid and useless.

This has also lead to me to be virtually starved for affection and friendship that I usually end up shying away from on the basis of my social anxieties. *Sighs*

I'm really odd in that there are 'safe' places where I can go.

I have specific shops and restaurants that I could visit every day - they were the places I visited before I had my breakdown and before I developed BiPolar to the extent it is now. I know the staff by sight or name, I know the make up (to an extent) of the menu and I know the exits.

I do not visit shopping centres at all. I cannot cope in that situation.

I also cannot cope with public transport. If there was someone on there that creeped me out - and I had no where to go I'd be in useless mode long before reaching destination.

However, there are places I would love to go and can't i wanna go to the duck pond, and the local library, the list is endless and yet they're all simple places.

When my gf wants to go shopping, and she needs a place that isn't safe for me, I wait in the car.

Chiblue, there's no such thing as a 'small' fear. If it debilitates you in anyway, then its just as 'big' as anyone else's. I don't like to get into the 'my fear is bigger than your fear' game. Its pointless. At the end of the day, we are all living a life that is limited in someway.

Dethas, I understand what you are saying. I won't go to many places because of a severe fear of heights. I have to know first of all, that its on the ground level. Then, if it does happen to be upstairs, I have to know how I would get to it, what exact route I would walk from the lift - if there's any windows for instance, and how I would get out again. Sometimes there's a staircase at the back that I can take instead of the main lift.

Has anyone noticed those holes in the floor in multi-story shopping centres? Every time I ask this, people say 'there's no hole in the floor". Pisses me off that, cause I know there damn well is. They put huge holes in the floor and then glass railings around them so light can filter through all the levels and air can circulate. Well, I can't go on any floor with one cause the fear is just too great. And they seem to be everywhere!

Just on the weekend we went to a club for lunch that we've been going to once a month for 3 years and when we signed in, my partner said 'stay there'. I looked up and froze. I could see out the front and back windows and of course its one floor up, but I've been able to handle it til now. This time I just about freaked and I had to stay frozen on the spot til he came back cause to move would mean - I don't know what. Once he came back, I was fine and the fear was forgotten. Pretty much another sign the depression is coming back.

Chiblue wrote:

I am afraid...deathly afraid of large crowds of people but seem to function...well, most times...in a small group enviroment...

Sweets, that's not small!!

Damn - I'm not trying to tell you your fears are big.. it's just that they are just as valid!

The whole 'big crowds' thing is something that features with me too. It's part of why certain places are ok for me and certain places aren't.

Even if I approach a shop that is normally 'safe' for me and it has too many people in it - I'll walk on by until I find somewhere I can go into and feel secure.

Chiblue wrote:

After reading your posts, I feel like my fears are quite small...of course, that is not too difficult sitting here in front of the computer screen...

I'd just like to say that I think that no fears are 'quite small' if they have the default word 'fear' in them.

*hugs*

HUGS to all of you...

The way I am is in no way comparative to you all...

I get very paranoid when I'm out. If I'm in a group situation, I'm constantly paranoid that what I am saying is stupid, alot of the time I come across as cold because of it. I just get too paranoid that i sound silly.

When I go out shopping, I'm in a sort of fog. I don't really know how to explain it.

I get more worried when I dont have my daughter with me. I dont know why, but I am not nearly as paranoid or as anxious when I have the buggy in front of me - maybe it acts as a sort of barrier, I dont know.

Mel
xxx

*HUGS MEL* I know what you're meaning there, Mel. The cart IS a barrier. It also gives you something to focus on..just like when you have your daughter with you, your mind is 'distracted' more by the fact that you have someone to protect and look after.

There may be degrees of it, but it all sucks the same. *HUGS*

Have a hug Chi - no one took it that you were trying to compare!!

Nope, we simply meant we don't consider your fear to be small

justme wrote:

Nope, we simply meant we don't consider your fear to be small

Yes!!! That is exactly what I meant when I said what I said.

That basically any fear, if it is a 'fear', is serious, and shouldn't be minimised. Don't compare yourself to others. It is valid and legitimate if it is something that frightens you. *lots of hugs*