So...what's your vice?

Does anyone care to share if they have a problem or addiction that they are overcoming or not?

This isn't compulsory.

I am one to usually always admit what I do and don't live with. I currently have problems with alcohol and prescription medication. I don't consider myself to be a raging junkie or alcoholic, but I know that I do have a problem. In the past I have had a larger problem with the alcohol. Fortunately, I somehow found it within myself to cut back on that...but it is still a struggle sometimes.

I also smoke cigarettes. It's an on-again off-again thing with me. *Sighs*

Ok, Currently the dreaded ciggarettes!! Like Chiblue, I try to quit, it just dosnt work...

I battled an addiction to most class a drugs a few years ago - There was a time where I took those to the extreemes. We had a routine of working all week, then from Friday the party began - we would be dropping everything and anything from Pills to Ketamine. I think my worst weekend I took something like 28 pills and 4 grams of Ketamine, plus anything else that was going (usually some speed and some coke thrown in there too).

We stopped the partying, but it was hard. Plenty of arguements between me and Tim because of it.

Then, we had about 6 months clean of all class A's. Nothing at all, until we went to a friends house, and - speed was offered. So, on again to the addictions, I was taking speed everynight from thursday to tuesday, having wednesday my free day. I only stopped this after I got a job where I couldnt go speeded up. This would be my drug of choice - you dont get a 'come down' after it, you lose loads of weight on it, and I just felt super confident, on top of the world.

I still find it hard now when I go out - I got so used to going out dosed to the eyeballs, that I forgot how it feels to go out with no drugs. And Gods do I miss it. I would love to go out, and get dosed up like I used to. The only thing stopping me, and this is the only thing, is my Daughter - that one bad pill years ago wouldnt have mattered that much, but now - I dread to think what might happen.

Aside from all this I have smoked cannabis since I was 16. I had a stint of smoking it when I was younger, but from 16 I was a 'true' smoker. year before Last I smoked weed like ciggarettes - while I was doing it I didnt smoke ciggarettes though!!!

It was weed that helped me through my darkets times. If it wasnt for weed, I truely dont think I would be here now.

I only stopped smoking this when I was in hospital and pg - I had on bad info that weed wasnt harmful to your unborn child, and apparently it isnt. I had a J when Tim came to see me, and went back inside - the midwife wanted to do my Obs/ Both my heartbeat, and my babys were beating really fast. From then I said no-way. I feel so guilty for that.

I will smoke weed again, just not at the minute.

Like Chiblue, I know weed is so much less destructive than alcohol, and it should be legalised.

Well, enough from me, you have an essay here!! lol!! I do tend to go on

Pills = Ecsatsy
Speed = Amphetimine
Ketamine = Horse Tranquilizer (I know, Yucky)



Much Love and Hugs

Mel
xxx

Thank y'all for sharing. I know that it's a very sensitive topic and I just feel...even more honored to know this. *HUGS*

I have to agree that weed is a blessing for so many. As a child of an alcoholic I only can wish that it had taken the place of booze and I know that my life would have been better more than likely.

I know that a lot of therapists and sponsors talk a lot about the reasons behind using (or drinking), but sometimes (and this is not condoning it!) using can have constructive purposes. One problem is just being capable of moderation...and that's where a lot of us fall short, I'm afraid.

I really do thank the gods that I never became involved with anything hardcore. I ever only dabbled in any such. My worst experience was with Ecstasy and I thought that my heart was going to explode.

It is really wonderful...in my eyes...to be able to look back and see where you were and the frame of mind that you were in at the time you were using the heaviest...and just to realize that you actually have made progress. It's hard to see it at the time that you're trying to quit...but on down the line, it really does amaze when you can see how far you've come and how you're life has changed for the better (hopefully). Or at least what you are doing differently to not have to fall back into that pattern of behavior again.

*HUGS*

I definately have a binge eating problem yet I know what its like to strave myself as well. I did that at one time, but now I just use food to make me feel better which it infact does not!

I smoke too. I actually stopped smoking for 17 years yes you heard right. my weight was 280lbs and I could'nt stop eating. I lost 56lbs without even trying then I started to go up again so I began to purge, it was the only way I could lose weight. I'd make myself sick about 5/6 times a day and yes my weight came down to 136lbs which for me was too light I looked ill. I was ill. I had a slow pulse, and I lost the proper use of my left leg, a brain scan didn't show anything significant but the doctor told me I would end up killing myself if I carried on.

So I just stopped purging I was so scared I just stopped, and my weight went back on because I was still eating the same but not making myself sick

I started drinking every night 6/7 vodkas this went on for about 7 weeks and I suddenly realised the road I was going down and I pulled back. I still have a drink now and again I'm actually having one as I type this, the first since New Years day.

My daughter is attending AA as she has alcohol problems she loses all control when she drinks she is with alcohol like I am with food.

I tried the suicide road a few times in the distant past and to be honest I don't know why I'm still here as one of the times I took 50 paracetomals. I've since read of someone dying after they took only 10 I had no liver damage so that in itself was a miracle. I don't feel this way now I'm actually terrified of dying now.

I change so often I can't keep up with myself lol I feel like I'm going crazy.

Anyway I didn't mean to write an essay I just couldn't stop writing

Blessings
Aleia

yes its really good to be able to share openly about our problems, this in itself is a heaing start,

and as you say we have each other for help and support.

I love this place

Love and Hugs
Aleia

Wow - reading all your stuff I feel really lucky sort of.

My problem is food.

However, from a very early age I realised I have an addictive personality. I had a problem with alcohol that nearly led me to AA but I dropped t myself about 7 years ago. Now I only drink champagne - that's my rule - so that I only ever get tipsy and only ever at very special occasions (Ican't afford it other wise)

I actually had a prbolem with pepsi max - the sugar free kind. Apparently it's the aspartine (sp?) in it. At my worst, I was drinking between 3 - 4 litres per day. I also got hooked on the caffeine. Coming off that was a nightmare with the full blown withdrawals and the shakes.

I used to smoke - from the age of 12 until 22. I quit cold turkey for just over four years - then started again for a year, then quit again last January. I actually still consider myself a smoker because I do still want a cigarette regularly and whenever someone offers me one, I take it. I don't smoke it though!

Nowadays I am very conscious of myself and I watch out for patterns in my behaviour. I know of myself that I can become very addicted to just about everything so I steer clear of anything that seems a little too 'yummy' for me.

*HUGS TO EVERYONE* I'm so glad that this is helping y'all out...makes everything just grand in my eyes.

You know...I think that Pepsi/Cola addiction can be a bit factual! lol It may sound funny, but maybe it's the caffeine. *Shrugs* I used to have a Dr. Pepper addiction. In a huge way...so much that I nearly dehydrated myself working on spreading a concrete slab once lmao

I forgot to add I drink diet pepsi every day about 2+ litres

Thats the least of my probs

Love and Hugs
Aleia

I've overcome smoking 4 times in my life. I won't take it up again as I simply don't want to. Also I have the most wonderful partner who loathes the stuff lol. I've just kicked coffee - yet again! I'm trying to 'clean up my act'. I'm waiting a couple of weeks to allow my system to get used to not tasting it, then I want to look at herbal teas.

My other addiction only hits when the depression is starting. Its a new sign I've learned to look for. Its shopping. I go online shopping, especially ebay and just buy and buy and buy. Last year I went through over $1,000 in 3 weeks just buying stuff I didn't even really want. I get these ideas into my head, like I'm going to do jewellery making as a hobby. Then I go and buy every conceivable thing I could possibly ever need. There's got to be like 6,000 beads floating around this house that'll never be threaded! lol Currently, I'm spending all my money on books.

This addiction got me into debt to the tune of over $5,000 last year, that I am now having to pay off. This year is definitely one of learning to be responsible!

My other addiction is the internet. I can think nothing of spending days on here doing pretty much nothing. I'll develop an interest I obsess about, like meditation, cooking, sex, etc and I will join yahoo groups, online forums or read volumes of webpages on that topic. I won't actually *do* anything about it, just read and read and read. I'll plan to do things, like save for a house, then I'll plan what the house will look like, hunt down pictures to compile, visit websites that sell tiles, so I can get just the right look. I'll buy house building magazines - I have a book on strawbale building laying around somewhere. But I never actually put dollar one away toward starting the project. Its like all I really want to do is experience the dream of it.

I am in the process of restricing my spending deliberately though. It helps that the only money I have is what I earn and once its gone, so is my option to buy anything.

You know, that's so interesting Justme! People with mental illness are more likely to have spending problems. Whether it's an irrational desire to hoard money or one to spend it. Seems like the spending bee is most common lmao

I tend to do the same. I will sit on money for ages...saving and saving...for whatever...and then one day will just decide that it's pointless to save and that I shoudl be enjoying the money...and thus spending it all and regretting it.

Mad Jack wrote:

You know, that's so interesting Justme! People with mental illness are more likely to have spending problems. Whether it's an irrational desire to hoard money or one to spend it. Seems like the spending bee is most common lmao

The spending thing is often a sign of BiPolar. Whenever you go for assessment and they have BiPolar in mind, the specialists will always apparently ask you about your spending habits.

Funny enough - I don't have the spending thing - I'm petrified of debt. I have an overdraft but I don't use a credit card and I don't take out loans. I have a credit card for emergencies (like huge dental bills if the need should ever arise) but I don't use it and currently it's clean.

I found out not long ago that SAD is a sort of little sister to Bipolar, its quite similar in a lot of ways, so that might explain the money thing. If I can get a decent amount in the bank at once, like $1,000 then I'm loath to spend it on anything, but to try and save that $1,000 from scratch is virtually impossible for me.

justme wrote:

I found out not long ago that SAD is a sort of little sister to Bipolar,

I'd be interested to read where you found this out justme.

Surviving BiPolar, to me, seems quite different to SAD.

Basicaly, SAD has a manic phase and a depressive phase. They are related to the seasons, so more regular than Bipolar and therefore, in many ways, easier to prepare for. SAD is also a mood disorder. Here's 2 websites I found.

Bipolar World

SAD connection to Bipolar

I'm a binge-eater, and that's probably my most significant addiction, particularly when it comes to chocolate. If I feel like a binge, I can eat massive quantities, and I will push myself past feeling comfortably 'full.' The emotional comfort I get often outweighs the physical comfort, until you know, my irritable bowel syndrome kicks in.

Hmm...

I'm also addicted to the internet. That is a really core vice for me. I spend a significant part of my day on it, every day, and I do get withdrawals if I go for a couple of days without it. I used to be really down on myself about this, until I realised that all my art clients, and a lot of my 'support system' for my PTSD are online. So it's natural too that I would really miss it.

I am quite good with money, but then I was raised in relative poverty, and so money has never been something I've just been able to 'spend' easily. And I always feel guilty when I do regardless. I don't think I'm at risk of gambling.

Oh gambling. I went to bingo once with a friend and felt the rush when it was getting close. I vowed I'd never gamble again (except for put lotto on lol) because I knew just how easily I could get addicted to that rush. I even gave away the Melbourne Cup. And besides being allergic to alcohol, I also deliberately stayed away from that because I could sense at times I'd turn to it and end up an alcoholic.