About Me

I have a binge eating disorder undiagnosed but I know this is what it is.
I've had Bulimia Nervosa in the past which lasted nearly three years, until a health scare stopped me in my tracks from throwing up everytime I ate something.

I eat because I ache inside. I eat to stuff my feelings. I eat when I'm happy. I eat when I'm sad and I eat when I'm not even hungry. I've tried to change my eating habits and eat only when I'm physically hungry. I get on ok for a few weeks then I just give in to the emotional hunger.

Just a few weeks ago I managed to keep to sensible eating for 5 weeks and lost over 22lbs. Now I right back where I started and I'm in tears.

It's quite unbelievable the amount of food I can consume when I'm on a binge.
I need to lose weight for my health. I feel better within myself when the weight starts to come off.
Then I sabotaged all my efforts. why? why? why?

I've just stared again on another journey to try and get to grips with my eating.
This time I'm keeping a journal of my thoughts and feelings and of what I eat.

I need to lose 90lbs in a healthy way. Bulimia nearly killed me. I was fortunate to be able to turn away from it when I did. I swung between starving myself then binging and purging.

I've also got fibromyagia and losing weight would help my condition. I think the doctor has given up on me. I've not given up on myself yet however.

I'm so depressed right now it physically hurts.

This place is a blessing I've never been so open about this ever.

Blessings
Aleia

*HUGS*

Aleia, thank you SO much for sharing with us...it really takes a lot of courage and I commend you!

I can only imagine the pain that you must be feeling from all of this. The best part of it is that you haven't given up on YOU. I believe that doctors often 'give up' because...in the long-run...no matter how hard they try to help us...it's really up to us wanting to help ourselves. Therapy of any kind just cannot work if we are setting our will against it.

I am not very familiar with binge-eating, but with denying myself food...either way, it seems that perhaps it could be much like some who go off meds. You ask 'why' you end up sabotaging yourself when you have come off the binging and are feeling better. Maybe it's because you do feel better and believe that therefore you can handle your emotions in a better way...but in the end, you fall back on the way that works best for you (which in your case would be eating). Coping mechanisms come in many forms! None are any less valid than any other!

The journaling is a SUPER idea. It may give you an outline to follow. What you feel on a particular day as it relates to what you eat could give you a blueprint for changing that behavior and substituting a different behavior (instead of eating) into its place.

Sometimes going cold turkey just doesn't work! I think that more often the most successful therapies are those step-programs, no matter what they're called. A little at a time can seem to train our brains to react a different way.

I do hope that you keep us updated on your progress. Remember that relapsing, though we work hard not to, does not make you a failure or any less of person! It's not a flaw...we're human and not infallible!

Thank you again so much for sharing this story with us...your story. And I hope that you continue to do so! Take your time and there is no shame amongst us here. We support you and will do all the we can to help. Blessings to you!

Thank you SO much for your understanding you are a gem *Hugs*
Blessings
Aleia

Aleia,

please know that you are not alone. You have here a fellow binge eater.

I'm so proud of you, I know how hard it is to admit to our condition, especially when so many deny that it is a valid problem.

I'd be more than happy to join you on your journalling as support, if you think it would help.

Being diagnosed diabetic very recently, I also need to bring my eating under control. It's literally beginning to kill me now.

If you'd like to get together over pm, maybe have a 'report' day with each other, let me know - it might do us both good.

On the other hand - no pressure here - the last thing we both need is feeling bullied into anything.

The choice is yours hun - either way, we'll all be here for you.

Hi Dethas

It's really wonderful to have you here. Binge eating is not a very tolerated condition, not from the experiences I've had. "Just cut down on eating" I've been told lol if it was as easy as that I'd be slim by now.

I'm sorry to hear you have diabetes this must limit a lot, of what you can eat. It's really something you don't need when you have an eating problem.

I've started a blog on blogger kinda like a journal to write down my thoughts, feelings and note my progress.

I'm going to weigh myself tomorrow then every Sat after that. Yes I would like if we could get together over pm I'm for it if your sure you don't mind.

I don't think I'll lose 90lbs by the time I go to Italy in 27 weeks we decided on the date today yay!
I'm hoping I'll lose most of it though. I'm NOT going on a diet. I hate that word. I'm just going to try and eat when I'm physically hungry. I'm not really sure what physically hungry is to be honest. I've had this eating prob since I was a child.

Blessings
Aleia

Aleia,
I am honoured that you have let me support you through this journey.

You'll have a couple of days on me.. I'll start journaling on Monday and we'll compare notes.

Remember though - no pressure on yourself... if you slip, you slip.. it's not the end of the world.

diet - yeuch - just the very word has me gagging... I'm going to think of it as simply observing myself...

Here's to us hun!

Aww thank you Dethas. I'm honoured too that you are willing to walk this journey with me and I'm sure we will do OK!

I started today and so far so good its 4.31pm. Just let me know what day you want to get together over pm. I'm usually avaialable most times.

Yeah Dethas heres to us

In Love and Light
Aleia

I just wanted to stick my beak in and tell y'all what a lovely thing that I think the two of you have here. It's almost like a buddy system! I think it's a great idea and I am certain that y'all will help others by working together...and helping each other lol *HUGS*